(English version)
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| 'Sandokan' tells a Mompracem love story | |
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| - Weekly wrap - Sandokan the pirate meets Verdeluna the starstruck housewife, as the Web brings the shores of Mompracem and an Italian suburb together in an extraordinary cyberchat adventure! Read all about last week's episodes of CH@T on Italy's Radiodue, starring Kabir Bedi and Daniela Giordano. #1 - September 10, 2007 Verdeluna, aged twenty-five, errr make that forty, goes in search of nocturnal creatures on the Internet... Enter Sandokan. also awake after an espresso or two too many. Or was he really at sea aboard his creaking gallion? Sandokan complains all his female companions have deserted him to work on a cruise ship. That's glob.. globliz... globalisation for you! Verdeluna, mistress of the tennis shoe, gets a little cross with her dreamer who insists he really is the Tiger of Malaysia. Isn't he just a cyberpirate out to infect her computer with a nasty virus? No. The Tiger is a sad man at heart, ever since the Pearl of Labuan left him. Verdeluna, too, has a tale to tell. Her useless husband has run away with a woman young enough to be his daughter. So let's just sail away in the fairy vessel of our dreams. Get on board, Verdeluna, I'm really quite an honourable pirate, and living without fantasy is like being stamped on by an elephant... #2 - September 11, 2007 Rudely interrupted from varnishing his gallion, our ever-charming Sandokan flatters Verdeluna with the quality of her voice. Hardly the sort of thing her useless ex-husband would ever have told her! The ear is one of the most erogenous zones of the human body, intones Sandokan – or he would, if he were able to pronounce the word... Sail-by-night Sandokan likes to listen to the sound of his heartbeat by the light of the stars. These are also quite useful to see where you're going off the shores of Mompracem, especially when the tide is out as, inexplicably, it seems to be today. Verdeluna tells Sandokan about her virtual encounter with Solstizio, a young man recovering from a heart transplant and passing the time of night chatting away on his computer. We're all sick at heart, says Sandokan, and every day our hearts need trepanning, err.. transplanting. Then there's the legend in old Mompracem of the elephant and the ant. They decide to lend each other their hearts, but this creates huge problems of a new kind. The tiny ant yearns for an elephant husband, and Jumbo is pining for a spouse he couldn't even see. So after a few days, they get together to reverse the operation, and....? They fall madly in love and live happily ever after. Offspring unknown, chuckles Sandokan. On to other passions! Verdeluna's son Valerio, assistant chef on a cruise ship, last month made his mother the mother of all mortadella sandwiches... a mortadella that could raise the dead! But like all good things, sausages come to an end. Don't despair, Verdeluna, there's plenty of mortadella in my nirwana. Come on board of my pirate ship, we'll await the high tide together, and it's off to Finland to see Santa! #3 - September 12, 2007 My hand is always ready to caress you, Verdeluna, and to confront the forces of colonialism! But that's not enough for our heroine, who feels caged like an animal, getting varicose veins as she stands in line at the customs post, waiting to escape her humdrum life and make straight for the realm of fantasy! Her useless ex-husband has started an affair with Vanessa, the classmate of their daughter Patrizia. Confront him without fear, says Sandokan, just like I stared down the tiger. You suffer from a clear case of Kammamuri's Syndrome... but if you must cry, you might as well do it on the beach. And by the way, if you haven't yet found Mr Right, you must have the courage to be patient. #4 - September 13, 2007 Sandokan, ever the fast and modern animal, is sending an e-mail to his friend Yanez, who now runs a cigar import-export business in Cuba. Sandokan is sitting on the beach of Mompracem, his ageing laptop plugged into his home telephone. Computers are as indispensable as five o'clock tea! But they also have a habit of falling overboard: last time, Sandokan had to retrieve it from the belly of a whale. After an imaginary romantic walk along the shoreline, Sandokan and Verdeluna discuss the young people of today. They are so very serious, like Verdeluna's daughter Patrizia, and they never have time for themselves... Meanwhile, the world continues to turn, and we to turn with it. Come to me, Verdeluna, come to me! #5 - September 14, 2007 Sandokan, slightly delayed by a storm on the journey home to Mompracem, is treated to another tempest: Verdeluna tells the tale of how her useless ex-husband Renato, also known as The Twit, fell in love with Vanessa, her daughter Patrizia's friend. She came to a fancy-dress party thrown by Patrizia, dressed as Minnie Mouse... Sandokan feels like a seagull, old as time itself, with one year for every wave of the ocean. But now he knows Verdeluna, he can put the pain of Marianna's loss behind him and spread his wings once again. And what about woman power? Today's women are far more combative and adventurous than men, Sandokan declares. Verdeluna's ideal woman is her mother, who raised the family by herself after her father was run over by a gravel truck at work. And Sandokan? Does he really live on Mompracem, or is he sitting in a room across the street, watching her every move? ...to be continued You'll find daily updates of Kabir's radio show CH@T online... |
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