|
Of she-ghosts and flat-pack gallions |

KABIR BEDI as SANDOKAN |
|
Kabir's Italian radio show Ch@t - weekly wrap -
As Verdeluna writes a note for the message tree, spirits do the
housework, and there is love in a pastry class. But flat-pack furniture
doesn't agree with Italian housewives, and the pirate places a feather
on the beach...
#46 -
Sandokan nearly missed tonight's chat with Verdeluna, after going diving offshore
Mompracem with Yanez, and nearly getting sucked out into the ocean by the current.
Verdeluna is worried sick about the danger to which he is exposing himself -
much to Sandokan's delight. He too would worry about Verdeluna!
Verdeluna's brother Walter, the priest, has started a new thing in his parish:
one evening he went to the tree in front of his church, and tied a message to
one of its branches, expressing his deepest feelings. That same night, several
other messages appeared, and the idea caught on. Now Walter's asked Verdeluna
for a contribution to the message tree, but she is convinced the only thing she'd
be capable of writing is: "Down With the Twit!!!"
Walter's message was that a soul cannot live well in one area of life when it
misbehaves in another. Life is single, whole, and indivisible. That idea's from
Gandhi, Sandokan says approvingly.
Verdeluna is desperate! What is she going to write that is profound enough to
impress her brother Walter? Look around you, Verdeluna, the world is full of
messages, and nothing happens without a reason. Our job is to understand that
reason.
Verdeluna found a tortoise in the garden of her apartment building. Is that a
sign too? Certainly! Older than time itself, the tortoise is a creature of mystery.
Its top is round like the heavens, and its bottom is flat like the earth. Man
is imperfect, and nature is his complement.
How Verdeluna misses her son Valerio, the modern-day pirate sailing the seven
seas, wherever his fancy takes him! Recently he was at Port Royal, Jamaica, a
notorious pirates' haunt through the ages. None of the passengers on his cruise
ship could sleep that night... All'assalto!!!
Why can't Sandokan come up with a profound thought for Walter's message tree?
Well alright then: the ocean's nature isn't always calm; the same is true of
the ocean of life...
#47 -
Sandokan has been taking the children of Mompracem on a canoeing trip, to teach
them to be independent and self-reliant. So who was the leader of the group,
the captain of the little flotilla? Sandokan says it's much too early for the
children to be competitive, and that they should learn to have some fun first.
But we live in a competitive world, says Verdeluna. Just look at how people behave
in traffic! No matter where they're going, they want to be the first to get there.
And to think that my finish line for the morning rush hour is Sir Hugo's shop...
Verdeluna tells the story of Debbie, a Californian woman of Italian origin, who
married the love of her life at age 55, having nearly given up on the whole idea.
Her partner's name is Pattie, a schoolteacher she met in a pastry class. Must
have been a sweet meeting, comments Sandokan. It's so boring to always be politically
correct! But despite playing the clown, Sandokan is full of respect for two people
who follow the voice of their heart without caring about social convention or
discrimination.
Mompracem weddings, though, are strictly between men and women. And they are
truly wonderful to behold. The bride's hands and feet are painted with henna,
the groom arrives on horseback, and the couple's wedding night is spent among
a thousand perfumes of the orient.
Night of the orient, night of love - how I adore being surrounded by the night...
Let's be each other's love pastry, you'll be my profiterolles, and I'll be your
baba au rhum...
#48 -
Verdeluna is struggling with a leaking tap, but of course there isn't a plumber
in sight. Sandokan says Yanez is an expert plumber. He even fixed the island's
only tap on Mompracem, which was dripping with such a loud thud every minute
that it kept everyone awake.
Enter the Portuguese Plumber, who fought with the delinquent tap for a week,
but to no avail. Then one day, there was a loud crash from the well, the earth
shook, and Yanez was heard to swear loudly. And then: silence. The Mompracemers
started to count... 50 seconds... 58.. 59.. 60... 61... 62... nothing. Only that
within minutes the whole island, utterly exhausted, fell blisfully asleep!
So how did he do it? After a week's struggling with spanners, screwdrivers, fists
and boots, he finally plugged the leak with... a coffee bean.
But seriously, does Sandokan think the world is running short of water? The Americans
seems especially alarmist, but then they always are...
As a little girl, Verdeluna used to go to a nearby cave with her family to fetch
water from the well there. It used the be called the Cave of Spirits because
the local shepherds would spend the night there with their flock, and the next
morning they'd always notice a couple of lambs were missing. So the story went
that the spirits of the cave didn't live by water alone...
Don't be afraid of the spirits, says Sandokan. They're present, but we need them
for the equilibrium of our cosmos. The pirate also has a ghost aboard his gallion,
who plays silly tricks like turning the ship around when it is heading straight
for the enemy, just as Sandokan shouts all'assalto!!! But on another occasion,
the ghost cooked Sandokan the most amazing breakfast, with coffee even more exquisite
than Yanez'.
Verdeluna is convinced the spirit is a girl-ghost. Turning pirates away from
battle, and making them coffee, are feminine things to do. So what would Verdeluna
do in her place? Make Sandokan stay in bed of course, and get the coffee from
Yanez!
But wait... Verdeluna feels a sudden sense of peace, quiet and relief... And
even the bathroom tap has stopped dripping... Could it be that...?
#49 -
Verdeluna is struggling to assemble an Ikea bookshelf, while Sandokan is out
snorkelling among the coral. Verdeluna loves coral necklaces, especially the
one she got from her Granny Benedetta, along with a glass of ice cold lemonade.
And Sandokan has fond memories of an Italian Renaissance painting by Piero Della
Francesca, of the Madonna with her child, little Jesus is wearing a coral necklace
[note: probably Piero
della Francesca's Madonna di Senigallia, about 1474]. How
does Sandokan know about Italian art? From a calendar brought along by Yanez,
of course!
Which brings us back to the Ikea bookshelf.
Yanez once proposed selling his flat-pack, do-it-yourself gallions to Ikea, but
they couldn't find a store big enough for them. Now Verdeluna is desperate to
find the instructions that came with her furniture...
Sandokan, heeeeelp me...!
There's only one thing to be done in such cases: all'assalto!!!
So, after another romantic excursion among the stars, Sandokan raises the big
question: just what is Verdeluna going to do with her new bookshelf? She is turning
the whole house upside down, redecorating all the rooms. Wasn't getting rid of
The Twit stressful enough? They say that after divorce, restruc.. restrutu...
restructuring the house is the most stressful thing that a person can do.
Verdeluna loaded some old sticks of furniture onto the Fiat 131 and drove to
the local dump to get rid of them, but before she could even enter the site,
five youths surrounded the car, opened the doors and dragged all the rubbish
out. With Verdeluna screaming in terror, they drove away in their old van with
her discarded belongings loaded on top...!
Sandokan is furious. Amateur pirates! It's people like that who give the profession
a bad name. That's the problem with your cities, you pretend the problems aren't
there instead of confronting them. So what would be Sandokan's solution? Giving
away Granny Benedetta's lemonade to everybody!
#50 -
I like the night, like any honourable pirate... Connecting... Connecting... Waiting...
Like I wait for the wind when I want to leave port...
Sandokan has helped Yanez stock up his kiosk with coffee bags, but the thought
of that exquisite aroma made the bags as light as feathers. Speaking of which,
Verdeluna followed a feather blown by the wind with her kickyodelling friend,
Olivia. It started out as a game but became quite serious. And so they trailed
the little feather this way and that, their heads in the air, counting the stars,
until it flew towards the port. And so they gazed at the little feather as it
drifted ever higher, ever higher, and ever further away. "Auf Wiedersehen,''
said Olivia, the South Tyrolean. "Auf Wiedersehen,'' echoed Verdeluna. Porzellana!
We nearly fell in, didn't we?
Then they just stared into the distance, and got gloomy, until Olivia announced
she would go home and make a zucchini strudel. Would she eat it all alone? -
Nein ! Tomorrow I vill bring half to ze shop for you! A very practical lady,
says Sandokan. If she'd known Hamlet, it would have been a case of to strudel,
or not to strudel...
Sandokan explains the Day of Light, a Mompracem festival when the fishermen place
all kinds of objects by the sea that represent missed opportunities in life.
If the next day, the sea has washed some of the items away, that means another
opportunity will soon present itself. Ernest Hemingway put down a swordfish made
of sugar, to remember the day he went fishing in a rickety old boat after having
some of Yanez' exquisite coffee!
When he came back from his trip after three days and three nights, Ernest had
with him the biggest swordfish ever seen by man... except it was so big he'd
had to tie it to the side of his boat, and it got eaten by sharks. Hemingway
went to his cabin, and disappeared for a whole week, until the smell of Yanez'
coffee brought him back to the world... And another fisherman left a wooden giraffe,
to show his pining for a long-necked ukulele player that once visited the island...
Verdeluna once visited a safari
park in Fasano with The Twit and their children,
and
when a giraffe started licking their car windscreen, Renato had the brilliant
idea
of honking to scare it off. With the result that an equally scared elephant decided
to sit down on their vehicle, and The Twit, ignoring all instructions to the
contrary, got out to inspect the damage. Within seconds, a troupe of monkeys
descended on him and undressed him to his underwear...
A small feather has settled on my computer, Verdeluna, the feather that Olivia
and you followed to the sea. I will keep it, and put it on the beach on the Day
of Light...
...to be continued
You'll find daily updates of Kabir's radio show CH@T
online at kabir-bedi.com... |
|
COPYRIGHT
! © Andrea
Verschuur
If you use this material, LINK TO WWW.KABIR-BEDI.COM AND
QUOTE
Kabir Bedi's official website as your source.
Publication of this material in print media and/or for commercial purposes is
not allowed. |
| The
OFFICIAL Kabir Bedi website - WWW.KABIR-BEDI.COM |
This NEWS! is being
sent to your e-mail address, #email#, because you are a registered
member
of the international club "FRIENDS OF KABIR" at
Kabir's official website.
NEWS! is sent out to more than 1000 subscribers in
57
countries.
To unsubscribe: Please send an email via the CONTACT section online.
The editor/webmaster of the Official Kabir Bedi website is not responsible
for
the
content of ANY external web sites mentioned in this document.
design & contents: Andrea Verschuur
Please write to me online via the CONTACT section at WWW.KABIR-BEDI.COM
-
fax: +44 7092 396143
COPYRIGHT © Andrea Verschuur - All rights reserved. |
|